Hey, it’s Michael Griswold and today I want to talk to you about the sensitive topic of how to save a relationship after cheating.
I remember when it happened to me; I replayed that scene over and over at least a million times. And each time it felt like a thousand stabs in the gut.
Even so, how do you move on after that? Is it even possible?
That all depends on you.
See, as hard as it is to believe, breakups donʼt usually happen because of cheating. People breakup because of the communication about the cheating.
In this post youʼre going to discover what the biggest secret is to save a relationship after cheating and youʼll even get to ﬁnd out if this relationship is worth saving for you.
First, if you are going to work through your relationship after cheating; you have to realize that everything depends on you.
Hereʼs what happens so often:
A couple is together and one of them cheats. The other ﬁnds out and for the rest of their relationship, holds it over their head.
That isnʼt going to work. What you have to realize is that nothing can be done about what happened.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife cheated on you. Nothing will change that!
Read that sentence until it doesnʼt stab you.
The question now is do you want to work it out?
If you do, you have to NOT take their cheating personally. And really let it go. So often people get back together, but they are just nursing their hurt about the cheating and the relationship ends ugly, with you feeling even more rejected, hurt and betrayed.
What you do instead is talk about it openly, and ask yourself:
“Can I be willing to NEVER bring this up again?”
If not, either walk away, or keep working on yourself until you can answer yes to that question.
Some people will ask:
“What? Iʼm just supposed to act like itʼs okay that he or she screwed someone else?”
Thatʼs not what Iʼm saying. I didn’t say it was okay. What I am saying is that nothing they are going to do or say is going to change what happened, so by holding on to it, you are only hurting yourself more.
Once you can do that, then you have to have a talk with your partner. If youʼre worried they may be lying to you, then get some info on reading body language. That way, you will know if they are telling the truth or not.
Then, ﬁnd out what really cause the cheating? We can all relate to feeling unloved, wanting variety, and the excitement of someone new. Even though it hurts to think of the person you love feeling that way, we can relate to those feelings.
Find out what in your relationship was at the source of the cheating and take responsibility for what isnʼt working. Then, try to understand why they feel the way they do.
You may wonder how to keep them from cheating again. The only real way to do that is to have the power in the relationship to make them afraid of losing you; to keep them from taking you for granted.
When you are the prize in the relationship, they are scared to lose you. Be that person and youʼll never get cheated on again.
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